So while we were in Bali, we decided to take up surfing. None of us ever surfed before, so we went to take lessons there and paid a not-so-wallet-burning sum for a whole day’s worth of tutoring! The first thing they got us to do?

Board humping! lol nah we were taught step-by-step instructions on how to get on the surf board while being rolled around like joints by the huge waves they have here in Kuta beach! Oh the super skinny guy in red happens to be the coolest instructor ever… He can speak every language we know plus more! Then again, we found out later that almost everybody there can speak languages from Japanese to Spanish and all that’s between it. Sien -_____-

This is how we should stand on board. Kenny’s doin’ it raite.

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So without further ado, equiped with the knowhows of saving our lives should we get washed away by the Kuta waves, we strode purposefuly to the treacherous beach with our lives on the line…

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Now, for the first try:
 

Climb on board before the waves come and lie flat on it, supporting your balance by holding the board at the sides, your legs poised to stand.
 

As the waves pick you up from behind, use the rush to push yourself forward, legs prepared to move forward as you force your body upwards with your arms.
 

This part is usually the hardest to do, once you’ve done it though, you’ve pretty much got the hang of it. Ok, that sounded too easy lol. Btw, don’t mind my fat round ass, you’ll see worse after this.
 

When you finally managed to stand up, you have to balance yourself while keeping the board riding high with your (flailing) hands.
 

Then be prepared to fall. Because you’re going to fall. Over and over again. Cannot escape one.

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Kenny got the hang of it after a while la. But becareful though.

Don’t be overconfident or you’ll suffer an even bigger fall. Read about his experience here.

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So what do you do once you’ve got the hang of surfing?
 

You FLAUNT YOUR SKILLS!
 

To BIKINI CLAD WOMEN!
 

And perform COOL FACIAL EXPRESSIONS!
 
See, the hot european bikini-clad girl was gaping at my uber-coolness. Tried and tested la.

Or you could just perform some cool tricks to amaze people. Like how I’m seen doing a Bruce Lee flicking-his-nose thingie.

That woman in red there seems impressed what haha!

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OK jokes aside, I really wanted to learn surfing for its uber-coolness factor. The next few shots below will successfully show you how I enchanted this super-hot european lady clad in bikini who could not help but stare at my awesomeness.

***************** Disclaimer: ignore the fact that the woman’s head did not seem to concentrate on me. That’s because I turned invisible for a moment there as I did a graceful fall into the deep blue ocean and I will leave my story on how I escaped the deep blue sea to find my bikini-clad hot european lady for another day.
 

Sigh who was I kidding. I should have done what Kenny did. I just don’t get it though. Who’d know that something like this will get him to bed Dawn Yang in a sexy hotel at Paris, France? Envy sia.

How the hell did do it?! Still don’t get it. Whatever la. *fumes*

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I’m just gonna stick to my theory and I’m sure something will come my way
 

Cool leh.
 

Uber cool leh. You want to be like me hor. Girls want to be with me hor.
 

If this shot won’t get me anything I’ll sue my own ass off. Come on la, damn cool what!
(ok I DID warn you about worse photos of me, right? Just don’t stare at my thighs!)
 
And now for the results…

DAMN WHY MUST IS STILL BE THIS RED SHIRT WOMAN!
WHERE’S MY AWESOMELY HOT BIKINI-CLAD EUROPEAN WOMAN :'( :'(

Sigh. Some people are just born lucky and some aren’t. I’m Aren’t. Boo

Sigh.
 
Siighhhhhhhhhh

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